Running Away vs. Do overs

Time flies. The pending date of leaving San Diego this August seemed so far down the road. I thought I would be able to soak up everything and everybody I needed to before I left, but today I looked at my calendar and realized August will soon be here. I guess I'm crossing that point in my mind and emotions where I'm halfway looking forward to the move to Utah and halfway agonizing over leaving San Diego. A vital piece of my story is that even though I grew up in Oregon and spent 8 years in Los Angeles, San Diego was always where I wanted to settle down. I was born here and I have always been a die hard Padres and Chargers fan. Of course, the stellar weather and the beach don't make it any easier to leave.

When you permanently move from what you call home, you of course reflect upon all that your are leaving behind (sounds like a good U2 song). I guess the hardest thing to lose are the people in your life. We always say we'll keep in touch and that we'll continue to see each other, but so rarely does this ever happen. There are friends and co-workers who make a difference in our lives, and if we do our job well hopefully we make a difference in theirs. It's whether or not we make a difference that I struggle with...the lingering and ever growing feeling that I have disappointed and/or inadvertantly hurt so many people. It grows because it accumulates over time. So when an opportunity to leave comes and I take it I wonder if I'm leaving to run away from this struggle. My wife asked me just last week if I am running away from something. Basically my response was I don't know. There certainly is a trend of me moving on to a new stage in life every few years. Am I running?

There is another way of looking at it. In 1998 I was asked to be the 6th grade graduation speaker for the school I was teaching at but soon leaving for grad school. I know, quite an honor to be a 6th grade speaker (actually it really was). Anyway, the title of my address was "Sometimes Life Gives You a Do Over." Before me were a bunch of 6th graders I knew well. Some were little brats and some were absolute delights, but all of them were filled with potential and all of them were going to have to start over the following year. There was something for them to look forward to but I knew they were all a little scared. I looked at them and told them that when the scenery of your life changes you are being given a new chance on life. A new chance to be the person you want to be. You are a blank slate to everybody new you meet and this gives you the opportunity to care for them perfectly.

Maybe part of me wants to run away, but I think it's more about wanting a do over. A chance to do things right. A chance to be a better husband, a better father, and a better friend. Of course we don't need to move a thousand miles for do overs to cross our path. This last Easter Andrew Sullivan wrote an essay for Time Magazine. It was the story of Ashley Smith, the woman who was held hostage by Brian Nichols, a man who had already raped one woman and murdered four men. Ashley was no saint, but one night she was given a do over and for a moment she was an angel.

And worth reading is the do over story of all do over stories--that of John Newton, the writer of Amazing Grace. Hopefully these two stories will spur all of you on to take advantage of your next do over.

Every Child Left Behind

It doesn't seem right to title this blog the "Liberal Conservative" without talking a little bit of politics. I'll start this one-way conversation by talking about the Bush administrations wretched No Child Left Behind (NCLB) act. Yes, I have been a life-long Republican, but those days are about to change. I won't be switching teams, rather, I'll just play by myself.

So back to NCLB. There's nothing like a bunch of silver spoon brainless baby boomers ignoring everything educational research has taught us in the last 40 years. Why is it that the corporate/political world out there thinks they can fix education? It is beyond stupid to conclude that if we run schools like a business that they will flourish. Anybody ever heard of Enron? The fact is 90% of businesses fail, yet somehow it's become hip to hire lawyers and business(wo)men with no educational backgrounds to run schools like a business...i.e. top down managerial approach. Imagine a world where 90% of schools fail and only 10% turn out right. That's what the business model will do to education.

California is leading the cause in screwing education up. San Diego, for example, hired Alan Bersin as district superintendent back in 1998. Dr. Bersin is a lawyer and not an educator. He recently was given a 90% no confidence vote by the districts teachers and he was recently fired by the school board. Since he did such a wonderful job screwing up San Diego's schools, Governor Ahnold just pegged Bersin to be the next state school superintendent. Heck, why not screw (I'm thinking a different word) the entire state.

So once again I turn back to NCLB. This act is similar to Alan Bersin's famed agenda called Blueprint for Success. Theoretically it sounds great...let's make all of our kids smarter. But the net result is a standardized curriculum in which teachers have no control over what they teach or how they teach it. Kids get to spend about one-third of the year preparing for a standardized test. This isn't learning, folks, unless you count learning how to fill in bubbles on a test sheet as true learning. No Child Left Behind will mean more tests and less learning. Social studies, science, music, and all the other contextual subjects be damned. Those are just "girlie" subjects anyway...I'm trying to make my governor proud. No Child Left Behind is going to result in Every Child Left Behind.

So here's the cool part. You'd think that I'd loathe moving to the most conservative state on the planet. After all, it's the conservatives who are pushing this accountability agenda, right? Not so. I will point out that Edward Kennedy was one of the NCLB geniuses. Well, the kicker is that Utah is the first state to give the feds the middle finger on NCLB. Can you hear the silent standing ovation from the country's dedicated educators. The message is this, educators should to be the ones figuring out what ought to be taught and how it should be taught, not Lawyer Bersin or President Bush.

I am so Lost!

I'm going to leave my faithful audience on pins and needles waiting for that first "liberal conservative" post. Instead I'm going to talk pop culture, in this case my love of the ABC show Lost. Due to a Tivo programming blunder last January I didn't record the first few episodes of 24 meaning it was worthless to even try watching this season's show So ignoring the fact that I'm intentionally not watching 24, I'm going to have to boldly state the Lost is the best show to hit the airwaves since Quantum Leap. The premise to the show seems short lived, but the character development is incredible and the paranormal twists make every episode a nail biting experience. The show reminds me a bit of the first year of Alias, which worries me a little bit because the brains behind Alias are also bringing us Lost. The stellar plotlines of Alias have now deteriorated to the point where I like the villians more than the heroine, Sydney. Are this year's Alias episodes being written by kindergarteners now?

Back to Lost...

I haven't spent any time online reading over story line speculations, but I do have some crazy ideas. I think the "container" unearthed by Locke is some sort of altnernate reality or time warping portal. The voice Boone heard on the other side of the radio (before he died) was his own voice, just him in an alternate universe. I'm sure I'm not even close on my predictions, but it's the guessing that makes a show like this so much fun. Of course, the big trouble is the show is destined to fizzle quickly. It happened to Alias and it will happen to Lost. Hopefully there will be at least a couple good years to look forward to.

Waves win a title

I was thinking that my next post would be a political one...one on the perils of the Bush Admin's No Child Left Behind Act, but I must first give props to the Pepperdine men's volleyball team. Saturday night they won their fifth national championship. What was so sweet about this one is that they beat UCLA at Pauley Pavillion. UCLA had never lost a tournament game in their gym (this includes 9 national championships). The match was a blast to watch. We won in comeback style, winning the final two sets to take it 3 games to 2.

I can't believe it has been 13 years since Pep's last championship. 1992 was a sweet year to be a Pepperdine student (this was my junior year). We won the men's volleyball title, the college baseball World Series, and the crowned Miss USA, Shannon Marketic, lived in the apartment right below me...I should have never let her go :-)

This year's the baseball team is showing some promise--they've beat quite a few top 10 teams. The women's golf team is ranked near the top too, so maybe we have more titles on the way in 2005? Stay tuned and I'll let you know what happens.

Goofing with George

Getting an opportunity to spend time with a friend you haven't seen in a long time is always nice, but when you get to "hear" your friend too it is quite special. George Rowe has been one of my best friends from the moment we met in college 15 years ago. The problem is when we get together we spend so much of our time giggling about all the fun times we had together that we aren't left with much time to create new memories.

So what do I mean that it's good to be able to "hear" George? Well, George is a singer, and not just any old singer. He has one of the most angelic set of pipes on the planet. He has a record deal with RocketTown Records and last year he somehow managed to climb to #1 on the Christian charts. He sang a few gigs while in town and it was funny to see the audience's collective jaw hanging wide open at the end of his last song. You can get to know George at his web site georgerowe.com. I highly recommend catching one of his concerts and buying his CD. BMP.